Thinking Of You
by MellyHorror-Salvatore-Northman
Summary: Sookie Stackhouse always regretted letting Eric go, but now she's married&has pushed him out of her mind. But when her ex-lover returns will she still be able to forget him? E/S, Rated M. I own nothing. Full Summery inside.
1. Introduction

**Thinking of You.**

**Summary: Sookie Stackhouse always regretted letting Eric go, but now she's married to Paul Cast and has pushed him out of her mind. But when her ex-lover returns will she still be able to forget him? Or will she fall in love with him all over again? Post DitF. Rated M. E/S I played with the story line of course.**

**I own nothing but my idea to manipulate these characters however I feel fit~**

**I don't know why I always start these things from some random ass point in time and point of view. I guess I find it amusing? Who knows. POV will switch. This is from Claude's Point of View. Because I've always felt the need to do this. An excuse at last! **

**CPOV**

I watched my cousin from the edge of the woods, she was in her house cooking a meal for that man she had married, and her wedding ring glinted in the sun coming into the window as it set.

Lemon, whatever she was making had lemon in it. I could smell it-she always used lemon to keep us away.

This was as close as I could get to her, it was barely close enough to help me in anyway, but I lingered on the property line watching her, wishing she hadn't kicked me out. Kicked us all out, shunned us, not because I was hurt by it-I couldn't give two fucks about it, except that I need to be near a fairy.

I hated that I was so dependent on her, on anyone.

Dermot had left long ago; Sookie was my only choice now. Since that vampire was booted out of her life so were the rest of us. She was insane to kick him out, and looking at what she replaced him with I was beginning to wonder if my cousin had a vision problem.

The man in question came rolling up in an old beat up pickup truck. From here I could smell how human and gross he was. He had plain floppy, thinning brown hair, boring flat eyes, a body that needed serious gym time and the nastiest monotone voice you'll ever hear.

I preferred that Compton vampire to him, and I hated him.

He was a sales guy, and he managed property in Shreveport, including the strip mall the blonde vampire had sold. I listened in as he greeted her, telling his wife about his day as she finished cooking.

Apparently someone had bought said property, a vampire that was no more then 17 with copper hair and scary eyes. She scared him, a lot. All I could do was laugh, from what I could see Sookie was trying not to laugh.

Her husband knew nothing of her past with vampires, and she'd keep it that way if it killed her.

As the sun went down further I heard Sookie come outside, calling for her precious dog, she went toward the woods. Fearing she'd see me I climbed into the tree just in time. I felt major relief when she was standing under me, calling for Daisy.

The golden lab came bounding over and the two walked to the house, entering it just as the sun set. I made a quick beeline for my car, trying to get there before her neighbor; Bill Compton caught my scent or the blonde cop inside notice me lurking on her property.

I made it back to my car to find two women leaning against it, Pam and her copper haired companion. "I see you're back in town Pam." I stay safely on the opposite side of my car, her copper haired companion turned to face me; her eyes are violet with gold streaks through them.

"Hello Claude." She smiles, "I'm going to assume Stackhouse is still living there?" she nods toward the house behind the trees.

"Yes."

"So she is married to that awful man." Pam scoffs, "Pity, such a pretty thing married to such a disgusting creature."

I nod in agreement, wishing to get in my car without fear of being eaten, "Why are you back?"

"The new King of Louisiana wanted Eric back here, as Sheriff of area 5, and to investigate the vampire murders." She replies with a shrug, the copper haired girls head snaps around.

"She's coming."

I glance at my door. Pam backs away, all the way across the street and I edge around the car to get into my car, I drive off before she can say anything else. My cousin would be in for a big shock soon.


	2. Chapter I: Lies

**Thinking of You.**

**Chapter 1- Lies. **

**Summary: Sookie Stackhouse always regretted letting Eric go, but now she's married to Paul Cast and has pushed him out of her mind. But when her ex-lover returns will she still be able to forget him? Or will she fall in love with him all over again? Post DitF. Rated M. E/S I played with the story line of course.**

**The first few chapters are going to have a scatter brained Sookie and may be confusing, I apologize. **

_**I have to have this on 300% zoom. I feel like an old man. ):**_

_**Haha, Sucks to be you. XD I can see it just fine and my eyes are more dilated then yours :P**_

**SPOV**

Paul had just sat down to dinner, that early night in October after telling me that a vampire had bought his property, I asked when and he had said an hour ago. No vampires I knew could be up around day light; but I just nodded and shut my mouth, acting like I didn't know a thing about it.

It was just after night fall when the phone rang, I answered it with a smile that quickly fell. "Sam needs me to come in." I grumble, "I'll see you later."

I rush up the stairs and change into my uniform, growling in frustration when I find I don't have any pants, it wasn't that cold yet but I'd prefer to have the black pants to the shorts.

With a soft sigh I pull the shorts on anyways and dash out the door to my car, pulling down the drive way quickly, I pass a car stopped at the edge of the road and two people, a blonde woman and a copper haired woman, both of which keep their backs to me. It's not odd I tell myself over and over.

I pull into Merlottes parking lot to find it empty, _what had Sam wanted me in for_? I walk through the doors and quickly determine why, nobody seemed to show up to work today and there were unmanned tables he had to serve, plus there was a football game due to end soon.

"Hey Sook." He says, relief washing over him, "go put your stuff in my office, Molly should be here soon. Thank you so much, I have someone waiting to talk to me and I can't do this alone. The two new waitresses refuse to come in now that they know." he says, rushing toward the kitchen.

I shake my head and walk back to his office, pushing the door open and stopping dead in my tracks. A tall, blonde, dead man sat in the chair at Sam's desk. He didn't turn around when I entered, but I saw him stiffen in his chair.

I slowly walked over and slipped my purse in the file cabinet Sam let us put our things in and spun to leave when Molly walked in talking with yet another blonde vampire. Her blue eyes met mine and she smiled, my heart thundered in my chest.

They were supposed to leave. They weren't supposed to be back. No. No. No. I back up slightly to let the girls in, Molly smiles at me while she's still talking to Pam mouth going a mile a minute. She doesn't notice the blonde vampire's fascination with me. I try to get out, but Pam is still blocking the door.

"Pamela." _He _says, she moves and my heart thuds harder against my chest. I close my eyes and then rush past Pam and Molly, grabbing an apron and order pad on my way. Molly's thoughts travel with me, _what's wrong with her? They're just vampires. _

Which ordinarily wouldn't bother me, if it wasn't Pam, or _him_. I can't bring myself to think his name; I shove my mental blocks up take a deep breath and put on my Crazy Sookie smile before stepping out into the bar where more people have shown up, just getting off work.

I spot the car from the side of the road earlier and look around trying to place the owner out of whom I knew and who I didn't and who was here before. I didn't see anyone new that I didn't recognize, maybe it was Pam's.

I walk over to my first table, smiling my crazy smile and take their orders in an almost robotic fashion. I want to leave, to be farther away because now I'm hyper aware of _his _presence and I can feel him through the bond that I'd tamped down _hard_.

I spend the night forcing my shield up, keeping my bond tamped down and pretending I don't know they were back there. Everyone probably thinks I'm crazy or at least crazier then usual tonight.

Of course they thought I'd gotten crazier right after…I can't think about that. But when I married Paul they were all thinking I had lost my mind, even my brother Jason. I mean sure Paul was a little average, he didn't know much about the vampires or Weres he never really pried into my old life.

He knew I had other boyfriends before, but he didn't know, or ask, if they were vampires. For all I know maybe he does know, everyone else did. He had one sister who was in Florida on the police force and his parents had passed away.

He didn't mind vampires or Weres but if he thought that copper haired girl was a vampire it was an obvious sign that he didn't know anything about them, they could hardly be awake during the day, let alone out in the sun they'd be crispier then hot dogs on a grill.

I sigh and head back toward the kitchen, grabbing one of my tables orders and delivering it, that's when I notice the copper haired woman sitting at a booth with my cousin Claude, in my section.

She had strange eyes, violet with gold streaks through them. She must be the one that scared Paul, "Can I get you two anything?" I ask trying to sound polite when I really want to run out of the bar, scream and cry at the same time.

"Two waters please no lemon." Claude says, growling the order. I head back to the bar and get them both water without lemon and set it on the table, "thank you."

"You're welcome; can I get you anything else?" I inquire stiffly, my Crazy Sookie smile firmly in place.

"A burger." The copper haired woman requested, her voice was music, I saw Claude shake his head, "please."

"Sure thing." I go place the order and then dip down the hallway, leaning on the wall to take a break from the craziness outside. Molly walks past me in a daze a stupid little smile on her face.

"Are you okay Molly?" I inquire, "You don't look so good."

"My boyfriend was just here." She blushes slightly, "I haven't seen him in months."

"Oh…okay." I sigh and she continues past me as I let out another shaky breath and laid my head back on the wall, I hear the cook calling my name so I fix my hair and re-enter the dining area and collect the woman's burger, dropping it at her table with a slight smile before scanning my section and checking on everyone.

When my shifts up Sam is still in his office talking to the two vampires and its time to lock up, I'm the only one left, so I slowly make my way into the back and get to the office door.

I knock and push the door open, "I need my purse. Did you want me to lock up?" I keep my eyes on Sam, who nods and tosses me his keys as I grab my purse from the cabinet, "Thanks."

I head to the front door and lock the doors and bar, and then I return to the office, _he _was coming out and I bump into him, hard. I would have fallen to the floor if _he _wasn't a vampire and his reflexes weren't quick enough for him to catch me.

When I grab his muscular forearm to steady myself; I make the mistake of looking up to thank him and meeting his gaze. His eyes are so blue and beautiful, and captivating. "Thanks." I mumble, looking toward the floor and pulling away from him, dropping Sam's keys and running out the door.

He doesn't follow me, I'm co mpletely thankful for that. I get into my car and sit there, hands shaking, for 10 minutes before I can put the keys in the ignition, start it and drive home.

Paul is waiting for me when I get back, I pull my hair down and step out of the car, smiling at him, "How was work?"

"It was good, sorry I had to leave so suddenly, Sam was swamped." I kiss him briefly before walking into the house past him, slipping into the bathroom and locking the door, "I need a really hot shower, I'll be out soon." I call out to him.

"Do you want me to join you?" he asks in a hopeful voice.

"No-it's that time again." I lie, stripping down and stepping into the shower. I sit at the bottom the tub and let it fill up around me the hot water relaxing me. I close my eyes and rest my head on my knees.

Why was he back? He said he was leaving and not coming back. But now he was; god a whole three years. And he still looked the same, perfect. Gorgeous.

I was older, I'd changed but he still looked the same. Just as I remembered him. Those beautiful blue eyes, strong arms, hard chest, long blonde hair, everything was the same, I was so different.

I stood up and washed my hair and body as quickly as I could, rinsing off just as fast and wrapping a towel around me before toweling off my hair. My heart ached in a way that made me want to scream and cry at the same time.

I take deep breaths to calm myself and close my eyes.

All I can see is _his _eyes. They're taunting me, calling to me, haunting me. Those eyes that had once captivated me, scared me, pulled me in, they looked into my soul as he made love to me, as he protected me, when he said he loved me. They held that innocent, pure, baffled expression from that time he forgot who he was.

When I fell for him, over and over, those blue eyes held a plethora of emotions, thank you word of the day calendar.

But his eyes at the bar looked broken, regretful, hurt. I never wanted to see them again, but they wouldn't go away, _they _haunted me, swam through my head.

A knock on the door startled me; I snapped my eyes open and pulled the door open, "are you okay Sookie?" Paul asks, his flat, plain brown eyes showing no real emotion.

I forced a smile that he couldn't see through, "I'm fine." I lie, "long day, I'm going to go to bed." I brush past him into the bedroom and kick the door closed, his brain radiates annoyance that slips through the barrier between my brain and his.

I let out an exhausted sigh, wishing I could let down my shields and juts relax.

He doesn't come in until I'm almost asleep, climbing in behind me, wraps his arm around my waist and brushes a kiss over my cheek. I turn around abruptly, pulling his mouth to mine in a hard kiss, I stare into his brown eyes and I memorize the way they take in my face.

All the while my brain says his arms are warm, not cold, his hands soft, not rough from years of use, his kiss dull and lifeless, not exciting and passionate, his eyes plain flat and boring, not bright, captivating and expressive.

I roll over and fall asleep, trying not to see those eyes, those blue eyes, but I do.

When I wake up Paul has already left for work, the bed beside me is cold so I know that he's been gone a while. I roll over, sliding my feet into my slippers and shuffling into the kitchen to make myself a glass of orange juice and some toast.

While my bread is toasting I go back to my room and put on a pair of jeans, a white shirt, and a pair of shoes. My toaster makes that annoying ding sound as I re-enter the kitchen and take my toast, slap some butter on it, and grab my car keys.

Sam had called while I was still asleep-or so Paul's note said- and asked if I could stop by the bar in the morning. So I took my toast into the car with me and drove down to Merlottes.

It was 11 when I had woken up, and 11:45 when I arrived at Sam's office door and knocked on it; "come in!" he calls. When I step into the office Sam is working on writing out checks, "oh, hey Sook, you got my message?"

"Yeah, Paul left me a note. What's up?" I ask, sitting down in the chair across from his desk, as my arms make contact with the arm rests a chill shoots through my spine, like my body can still sense the man who sat here last night.

"Eric." My heart hammers hard against my chests and then thuds to a stop for two beats before picking up at the rate of a humming birds wings, "he needs your help. Kin-."

"He can get another telepath." I snap quickly, my words jumbling together, "I won't do it. I'm not his _thing_ anymore."

Sam sighs, "You don't have to see him Eric, he just needs someone to help out with cleaning up his bar. I said I would, I need you to help me. Please."

"Sam…" I start to protest, but he just cuts me off.

"I'll pay you by the hour. Please Sookie." He begs, I sigh, caving in just like that for him and his damn puppy dog like eyes-I stifle a giggle at the thought, "thank you." I nod and ask when we need to start he says today would be good because he's closed Merlottes for the day. So we head toward Shreveport in his truck.

I call Paul and let him know that I would be helping Sam clean up and repaint a bar and he asks if I could go to dinner with him and his client tonight. I say okay without bothering to ask who it was. I was going to regret that I could feel it.

Sam and I pulled up outside Fangtasia, it was in relatively good condition except for some graffiti and worn down paint. With a sigh from each of us we slid out of the truck, grabbed the paint, cleaning supplies and keys.

I unlocked the front door and peered inside, making sure there wasn't anybody inside so I could prop the door open. I was quickly through the front door and propping open the back door, flicking on the lights as I headed back out to Sam.

"You're too nice." I say, "I thought you hated Eric."

"He made you happy. I got over it." he says, turning on the radio he brought and then we got to work cleaning up the bar, inside and out. Sam informs me that Eric and Pam are back as a favor to the new King of Louisiana-to solve the vampire murders around here.

A group of people had been capturing one vampire every month, weakening him and then putting him out on a cross in an open place to burn in the sun.

Around 5 we were finally done and I couldn't be happier to put the hour drive back home between this bar and me before the sun came up.

Paul was already getting ready when I walked into the house, dressed in a pair of jeans and a nice blue shirt, "Sookie, there you are I was beginning to get worried."

"Sorry I was helping Sam haul stuff back in." I explained, "I'll be ready soon." I rush into the shower, trying to get all of the paint and cleaning supplies off of me; as soon as I'm done I wrap my hair up in one of those towels that are supposed to absorb water and rush to get into a nice outfit, I settle on a jean skirt and a nice red top.

I pull my hair down, force a brush through it, spin it into curls, put on my makeup and slip on a pair of heels-I'm done by 7:30. Paul smiles at me, brushing a kiss across my cheek and tells me I look beautiful as we walk out to his truck and head for whatever restaurant we were going.

I watch him as he walks, the jeans hang baggy on his legs but hug his butt, _which is nothing compared to Eric's. _I find myself thinking, _that blue doesn't look good on him. _And for a moment I see him with blonde hair and a lot more muscle.

"Which clients are these?" I ask, wiping away some smudged mascara, I needed to stop thinking about Eric.

"The ones I told you about yesterday, he wanted to thank me for doing the sale quickly and efficiently. He said he'd love for us to come to dinner with him. They're vampires; I've never met vampires have you?"

"Once or twice, they come in to see Sam sometimes." I whisper my voice hallow, that meant Eric and Pam, I just knew it. Suddenly I wish I had never agreed to dinner, but I don't tell Paul because he doesn't need to know.

We pull up at a restaurant a few doors down from Fangtasia, when we drive past Paul comments that they cleaned up the outside of the bar pretty quick. I just nod and stay quiet.

We slid out of our car and head up to the restaurants front door, I can see his blonde head from this far away, I can hear music playing inside, and Pam is standing next to him in a pair of jeans and a blue blouse.

The Viking himself in clad in jeans and a bright blue button up shirt, he turns as Paul and I step up on the sidewalk, his eyes go wide as saucers and Pam smirks, earning a glare from her maker.

He didn't know, I turn and level a glare at Pam suddenly realizing she was one of the two girls standing on the side of the road that day. She knew, her face has an innocent expression but in her eyes a devious glint.

"Our table is ready." She says, holding up the blinking, buzzing device in her hand. We head inside, the waitress leads us to a booth in the back, and she takes our orders and zips off quickly.

"Sookie, this is Eric Northman and his business partner Pam." Paul introduces us, oblivious to the glares being shot at Pam from the two of us and the obvious air of discomfort shared between Eric and I.

"Pleasure to meet you." I say in a voice I hope Paul deems sweet, because I don't want to talk to him about this, about Eric and I. Eric is my past and Paul married me without asking about my past. To bring it up now would just hurt.

The waitress set down the vampire's drinks and meals, our drinks and took our orders, "I need to be excused. You don't mind do you sweetheart?" Paul asks, and I shake my head even though my head is screaming no.

Pam grins with glee as he's gone, Eric and I turn to her, "was this your idea Pam?" I hiss angrily.

"I simply suggested…" she trails off, shrugging her shoulder, "it's not my fault. Did you know your husband doesn't wear his wedding ring?"

"He does so Pam." I growl, pick up my beer and down half of it before slumping into the back of the booth, "At least when he comes back wipe that smirk off your face. He's not completely stupid."

"So he doesn't know about your past."

"He never asked." I snap defensively, taking another gulp of my beer as Paul approached the table, "hey hunny." I smile, leaning over and kissing him as I slid out of the booth, "I'll be right back."

I scamper off and out the door into the cool night as quick as I can, the wind is blowing softly outside, it makes my hair dance across my shoulders, what is going on with me today?

_Eric. _My mind answers for me. Eric is what's causing me to act all screwy. Ever since that night 3 years ago anytime I was even reminded of him I turned into a jumpy, jittery bipolar, moody bitch.

I took a deep breath as I sat down on a bench outside, my head in my hands, "Sookie."

"Ah, he finally speaks." I mutter, raising my head enough to see Eric's face, "what?"

"You're husband is wondering where you are." He doesn't look at me, his eyes travel around anywhere but my face, "come back inside, I'll deal with Pam later."

I stand up abruptly, "just what I need on my conscious, you 'dealing with' more people." I snap, storming inside, taking a few deep breaths before sliding into the booth next to Paul, "sorry I needed some air, someone had on too much cologne."

Lies, Lies, Lies. I need to stop lying to him.

I tell myself in the morning I tell him what really happened, but I know that it wont happen. I dare to glance in Eric's direction. He's talking with Paul about Florida, because I guess he went there. I didn't care though.

Pam stares between Paul and I the whole night, a confused look on her face, I slip off to go use the restroom and she follows me, claiming she needs to check her makeup. "What do you want Pam?" I ask her once we're in the bathroom; I figured nobody was in here because the lights had been flicked off.

"Why are you married to him? You two have nothing in common. He's so plain and boring. Does he have a big penis? Bigger then Eric?" her eyes are wide, at the prospect of someone bigger then Eric.

If I wasn't so mad I might have blushed at the vampires blunt question, "We have plenty in common Pam; you've known him for a few days. There is no way you could know tell we have nothing in common."

"I'm not stupid Sookie. Is it because he's safe? Because he won't lead you into danger?" her perfectly done eyebrow raises in question.

I narrow my eyes at her, "I love him."

"Why? What does he have that Eric doesn't?" ah, so she was still mad at me for _that_.

"He doesn't kill people!" I all but scream, yanking the door open and storming out, Paul is waiting outside for me, but I don't speak to him. I slid into the passenger seat of the truck and slam the door shut.

I could hear her words trailing behind me, _but he wouldn't hide a body for you either. _

Pam doesn't know anything. I love Paul. We have plenty in common. And there wouldn't be a need for him to hide a body.

_I wonder what's wrong with her…._ Paul's thoughts flittered through my head and I had to force myself not to snap that nothing was wrong with me. When we got home I stomped angrily up the stairs and into the guest bedroom slamming the door shut with more strength then I knew I had.

After I could feel Paul was asleep, via his dreams, I changed into a pair of sweat pants and pushed open the window, silently slipping out the window and climbing down the tree, my feet carried me into the cemetery-more precisely to Gran's grave.

I kneeled before it, brushing some of the weeds off of her headstone, "What's wrong with me Gran? Why am I such a mess just because he came back into town? He should be affecting me like this, I'm married to Paul. I'm _happy _with Paul."

"Are you in love with him?" a musical voice asks, my head snaps up my eyes searching the dimly lit night for the owner of the voice.


	3. Chapter II: Kiss Me, Kill Me

**Thinking of You.**

**Chapter 2- Kiss Me, Kill Me. **

**Summary: Sookie Stackhouse always regretted letting Eric go, but now she's married to Paul Cast and has pushed him out of her mind. But when her ex-lover returns will she still be able to forget him? Or will she fall in love with him all over again? Post DitF. Rated M. E/S I played with the story line of course.**

**Oops! *blushes* I left part of the convo between my beta and me, my bad. We both went to an eye exam. But I reallllly wanted to get the last chapter up. XD**

**Thank you for the lovely review, I apologize for not replying too many, if any, of them. I've been swamped and I will try to start replying.**

**SPOV**

"_Are you in love with him?" a musical voice asks, my head snaps up my eyes searching the dimly lit night for the owner of the voice. _

The copper haired woman stood a few feet behind me in a patch of moonlight, her eerie eyes glowing in the night. She watches me unblinking, thin arms tucked behind her back, her head is cocked to the side and she's waiting for an answer.

"Of course I love him." I answer defensively, "I wouldn't have married him otherwise!"

"You wouldn't have? Just because he was safe? Because he was normal? Because he was _human?_" the colors in her eyes swirl and it's a startling sight-and an amazing one, she seemed so out of place on this world.

But she was assuming things about me, and I didn't even know her name! "I love him."

"I didn't ask if you loved him. I asked you if you were in love with him." I didn't answer her, the means of talking left me. How could she assume I wasn't in love with him! I was! Wasn't I?

Her head suddenly snapped toward the direction of my house, her eyes narrowing and glowing red, "Something is coming. Run." Her voice is flat, emotionless.

I don't question her though; I just push myself and ran praying I could out run whoever, or whatever was coming. I could hear the thoughts-broken pieces- of someone and I knew they were close. The woman wasn't running with me however, she stayed behind.

Who is she?

My feet hit a root and I tumbled over, rolling down a slight hill and slamming into a tree. I could feel cuts on my arms and legs, my heart hammered in my chest as I tried to push my sore body into a standing position.

I wasn't used to this; I wasn't used to running for my life. I struggled to run and ended up limping as I tried to flee from the attacker who was gaining on me. My feet were sore, and my back aching.

This is one part of vampires I didn't miss. He was farther away and human from what I could tell. I could have easily outrun him a few years ago, but not anymore. The most I did was wait tables for 6 hours every day, mow the yard and garden. I wasn't a runner, and I wasn't going to be able to out run him.

Though from what it seemed I had one advantage I knew where I was going, he didn't seem to be from around here.

I took a sudden right, dodging a few trees and tearing through the forest in the general direction of Bill's house, unfortunately another mind hit me, there was a second person and he seemed more unfriendly then the angry one chasing me. I turned back on the path toward the road as fast as I could, stumbling across the road and into the woods across the street.

Something hooked on my foot and I fell face first into the grass, sliding across roots and branches that cut me up, "look it's a fangbanger I bet." One of the men jeered, walking around and fisting his hand in my hair and yanking my head up.

He was in a Halloween mask, one of those cheesy Michael Myers ones. It sent chills down my side as his friend came up to join him also in the same mask, "she's pretty it'd be a shame to just kill her." He kicked my stomach so I rolled over onto my back, the moon shown through the trees, funny thing to note.

The men's eyes were all I could see, brown and blue, and their muscular bodies of course. They were in plaid lumber jack like shirts and bloody jeans, they smelled foul and had knives in their hands.

"Just fucking kill me." I growled under my breath, struggling to breathe with the cracked ribs I no doubt received from the blow to my stomach.

"That would be a shame; you're too pretty-even for a fangbanger- to just kill you. Maybe I should keep you as a pet."

"I'd kill myself." I bit out, clenching my jaw from the pain in my body, they laughed in a way that would have scared me years ago-now all I was focused on was getting out of here-or getting help.

Help. _Eric. _

I was yanked up of my feet and shoved into a tree, my face smacking into the side of it-I could taste blood in my mouth. My hands were tied together on the other side of the tree; I couldn't move anything but my legs, with my hands tied though it was impossible for me to attack them.

I did the only thing my brain could think of-I opened the bond. A rush of emotions hit me and tears stung my eyes, _Eric, help me! _I screamed in my head, "There are vampires out here that will kill you for hurting me." I say, "I'm very special to them."

Hopefully this will buy me sometime, and it does they talk it over and untie my hands from the tree, hauling me to a truck parked on the edge of the road. That's how they caught up so fast.

They clearly didn't believe my lie about the vampires, because I meant nothing to them anymore.

I was shoved to floor of the truck in the back seat, too sore to move I just laid and waited. Hoping Eric would come save me, while I waited I picked at their brains, wondering if they were the vampire killers everyone had been talking about.

They weren't though; they were just insane like Rene had been.

When the car stopped I felt my stomach tighten with fear, one of them dragged me out by my ankles and dragged me up to a house, I could see the sky as I was being dragged and could have sworn I saw two people in the air above me.

They didn't carry me into the house, instead opting for the porch, they told me what they were going to do and the more detail they gave as they cleaned their weapons the more anger I felt, but it wasn't my anger. It was from the bond.

And as one of them leaned down and began cutting up my shirt a huge body flew onto the porch and slammed him into the wall, quickly followed by a tiny feminine body slamming the other into the wall.

I pair of warm hands picked me up off of the porch, my head fell on a warm shoulder, copper hair falling into my face as I was carried away from the porch, _I'm going to get her. _

I tried to warn her, tell her anything, but the shot rang out and something happened so quick I didn't know what happened, until I was in the air with black wings flapping behind whoever was carrying me and the scent of blood filling the air around us.

"Who are you?" I whispered my voice low and scratchy.

"You're safe. Does it matter who I am?" my savoir asks, "close your eyes Sookie, and hold on." I do as she says and wind rips past my head, I can tell we're plummeting toward the ground. She's holding my head to her shoulder, her legs pinning mine together and her other hand pressing my body to hers until we suddenly jerk and slowly float toward the ground.

When I crack my eyes open we're outside Fangtasia and Eric is setting Pam on the ground before his own feet touch down, "is she alright?" he directs the question at the woman holding me.

"She is wounded greatly, but I can heal her." Everyone's is like a distant memory. Maybe a dream even. I'm vaguely aware we're moving and I'm laid down on something soft, "get out."

I'm alone with the winged woman, her hands are hot. She starts at my head and slowly runs her hands over my body without actually touching me. My pain fades away, and I start to feel drowsy, "sleep well, Sookie Stackhouse." The words ring in my head as I succumb to sleep.

When I wake up I'm back in the guest bedroom curled up on the sheets in the bloody clothes, a towel beneath me to protect the covers. It's 6 am and Paul is still asleep, I take the opportunity to sneak into the bathroom, strip down, shower and tiptoe into our bedroom.

He's snoring softly on the bed, I pull out a pair of jeans and a tank top and sneak back out of the room to dress in the hallway, I take the bag of bloody clothes and shove them under the guest bed, planning to dispose of them later.

Paul woke while I was making breakfast, greeting me with a kiss on the cheek before he prepared his coffee. "I'm sorry about last night. My emotions are going crazy. I didn't mean to make a bad impression on your clients."

"It's alright sweetheart-they said they understood." He answers, "Vampires are pretty interesting. I'd like to get to know them more."

I don't say anything to him, because all I want to say is don't they're trouble. I can't say that because I can't tell him the truth. I don't want to tell him Eric is my ex and that we're bonded. I don't want him to know.

I turn and watch him drink his coffee, he's so peaceful, not a care in the world. His mind thinks about what he has to do today and how he wants to come home early and surprise me, "Paul honey, I'm going to be going up to Shreveport after work to a catch a movie with a friend. You don't mind right?"

"No, that's okay." He says in a whisper, he sounds upset but doesn't tell me not to; I serve him his scrambled eggs and sit down across from him. After we eat Paul dresses and I head out to mow the lawn, by the time I'm done with the yard work its 10 o'clock so I go inside and shower again, dressing in my uniform and heading down to the car.

The lunch crowd piled in minutes after my arrival; I was busy the rest of the afternoon until my shift ended at 6. After saying goodbye to Sam I hopped in my car and headed toward Shreveport.

Fangtasia was already open for business, if the huge line outside was any hint. It would take me hours to get inside. Or it would have if the bouncer hadn't been Pam; she waved me through the door with a creepy smile. I glared at her as I entered the bar the smell of cleaning supplies that had filled it yesterday was replaced with the scent of sweat and alcohol.

I glance toward the throne that is vacant; my eyes quickly scan the bar until the settle on the door that leads to the hallway where Eric's office is. The girl is standing by the door looking at me with her head cocked to the side.

I cross the bar, shoving through the mass of people until I'm standing in front of the tall woman, her eyes are blue tonight, red swirling through them, "You saved me." I say bluntly, "you took a bullet for me last night. Why?"

She shrugs, her eyes changing color like a kaleidoscope, "Why do you question it?"

"I don't know you. We're not friends, yet you took a bullet for me." I cross my arms, "Why?"

"I cannot die. You can." She says like that explains why the woman protected me, "I know you Sookie Stackhouse. You do not know me, but I know you."

"I don't even know your name." I say, "How can you know me?" she gently grasps my arm in her hand and pulls me down the hallway, the music becoming background noise.

"I lived to protect people, it is why I am. It's as simple as that." She says it in past tense, as if she is dead.

"Are you an angel?" I ask.

"I was. Once. I still am in a way, but not in the sense that I am good or heavenly. Not in the way you see angels. Why are you here? Shouldn't you be with your husband?" she's quick to change direction of the conversation.

"I wanted to thank you, for saving me." I explain, "You and Eric. Is he here?" I ask stupidly, because I know he is in his office, the door right next to where we stand, I can feel him.

She inclines her head toward the door and then she fades away, a shimmer of light left behind where she was moments before. How freaky. How cool.

I knock on the door softly, hoping he ignores it. But faintly I hear the words 'come in' so I push the door open, stepping into the familiar office. Eric is sitting in his chair; he doesn't look up when I enter the room until I'm standing in front of his desk.

His eyes travel up my body from my legs until they settle on my face; his shows no emotion, "what?" his voice is icily cold and detached, "I'm busy."

"I just wanted to thank you for saving me." I say, biting my lip as he looks back down at his paper work.

"I didn't save you, Marzanna did. Thank her." He says, "Please leave."

I stand in front of his desk for a moment longer, until he stands putting his hands on his desk and turning his angry glare on me, "Get. Out."

He doesn't scare me, he stopped scaring me a long time ago, "Why did you come then, if she saved me, why did you come?" he growls at me, glaring. I sigh and back up, heading for the door.

As I'm about to close it I hear him whisper, "Because you called for me. I will always come when you call for me." I pulled the door until it clicked shut and I took a deep breath, trying to tamp the bond down so he can't feel how hurt those words made me.

Pam catches me on my way out of the bar, following me to my car, "Sookie." She says, grabbing my arm and spinning me around, "did you find anything out from those men? Were they in anyway involved in the vampire murders?"

I shake my head, "no, they were just vampire haters. Let me go Pam I want to leave." She releases my arm and I get into my car, starting it and pulling out of the parking lot. I head home at a slow pace.

I could still feel Eric; he was angry, sad, hurt, lonely a million emotions danced through the bond. I needed to go somewhere. I needed to be alone, alone and far away from everyone.

I had nowhere to go, well that wasn't true. I had one option; I made a U-turn and headed for Monroe, hoping my cousin would let me stay the night.

I pulled up outside Claude's house, the lights were on and my cousin stood on the porch staring at me as I stepped out, "Cousin." He greeted in a clipped tone, "why are you here?"

"I need a place to be Claude."

"You have a home." He says simply, "Why come here?"

"Because I know you won't ask me questions. I need a quiet place to be." I explain again, I don't deserve any kindness from my cousin, not after I kicked him from my home and threw my huge temper tantrum.

"Eric is effecting you a lot." He notes, "come in." I follow him up the steps and into the house, he shows me to the guest bedroom and bathroom, explaining that he would be going out and didn't know if he'd come home with anyone.

I thanked him before he left and then locked myself in the guest bedroom, sitting on the bed and closing my eyes, resting my head on my knees while my arms wrapped around my legs.

I had called Paul and told him I'd be going to see Jason, then called Jason and begged him to cover for me which he did. I never told Paul about my connection to anybody supernatural.

I was sure he'd heard stories around town, but he never said a thing. He thought I was just a waitress at the local bar who was as fascinated with vampires as most people. He had no clue I was any less human then he.

He didn't know my first love was a vampire, not to mention the vampire that resided across the cemetery. He had no clue that I'd bonded and pretty much married the blonde Viking vampire that held his interest.

He didn't know that I could read minds, or that I was related to Fae. He didn't know much about me to be honest. He knew I liked to cook, Gran raised me, that I liked working at the bar sometimes.

He knew my favorite color, he knew about my family somewhat. But in reality he knew nothing, just the tiny bit of information he'd gotten from me. Just that my mom and dad were dead; Jason and I were raised by Gran.

He didn't know that I loved to read, that I like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, that I loved to sunbathe, that I used to live with two witches, two Fae, and I had a hidey hole in my closet. He didn't know I'd ever killed some one or that I'd almost died multiple times.

But I was happy with him, comfortable.

But was that all he was to me? Comfort?

My mind wandered to Eric, Eric knew everything there was to know about me. He knew about my love of the sun, that I loved to read and watch Buffy. He knew I could read minds, even his, and he knew I hated my ability.

He knew how to make me happy, he knew what to do to cheer me up, when to leave me alone for a bit, and he was always there to protect me. Paul could never protect me if I was ever in real danger. He was human, and everything that tried to kill me was usually supernatural or fucking insane.

But I loved Paul. I loved waking up to someone lying next to me. I loved having picnics with him. I loved visiting his sister and seeing her daughter and the thought of being able to start a family.

But I'm not in love with him am I? I'm in love with Eric-even after that stupid incident; he could have just listened…

I lay back in the bed, wrapping around one of the 3 pillows, I love him, I love him. I love Paul. But that night I dreamt of making love to Eric, Paul never even crossed my mind.


	4. Chapter III: Only Cats&IV: Monster

**Thinking of You.**

**Chapter 3- Only Cats. **

**Summary: Sookie Stackhouse always regretted letting Eric go, but now she's married to Paul Cast and has pushed him out of her mind. But when her ex-lover returns will she still be able to forget him? Or will she fall in love with him all over again? Post DitF. Rated M. E/S I played with the story line of course.**

**SPOV**

Claude woke me up at 9 the next morning, grumbling something about my phone waking him up. I sat up rubbing the sleep from my eyes to find 10 missed calls from Paul and 10 messages of him freaking out and saying they found another vampire burned on a cross.

Outside Fangtasia.

I flew out of the bed and down the stairs, calling to Claude that I was coming back, and then jumped into my car tearing out of the drive way and down the road toward Fangtasia. Paul was there when I arrived, watching as the police pulled the cross down, the charred corpse falling to the ground, turning to ashes seconds later.

"Do they know who it was?" I ask my stomach knotting with nerves.

"They don't know. Or at least they don't know who that one was. The other was a blonde female they couldn't identify." He says in a gentle voice, "They think they may be the owners."

No, no, no, no, no. I chant in my head, "come on lets get you out of here." He wraps his arm around my shoulder to lead me to his truck.

"No, I'm not going home. I'm sorry. I-I can't go home not yet." I whisper, "I'll be home tonight. I promise." He looks at my confused, but doesn't ask anything and I force my blocks up so I don't hear what he's thinking.

"I love you Sookie." He says, leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on my lips before walking away.

"I love you too Paul." I say, not sure if he hears me. As soon as he's gone I march up to Andy and pull him away from the questioning crowd, "do you really think it's the owners?"

"I can't say Sookie." He replies, "You know that."

_The corpses were both blonde. _His brain tells me, _but charred beyond recognition. Fucking Christ. _He doesn't mean for me to hear him, but realizes I have and pulls away, "Sorry Andy." I whisper walking away from him.

"Miss Stackhouse." He calls, "Be careful. These men aren't just after vampires." I slide into the driver's seat of my car, leaning my head on the steering wheel. After 20 minutes the crowd clears out, but I stay parked waiting.

It can't be Eric. I would feel his death.

_How would you know? _My brain chimes in helpfully, _you block him out. _

He's not dead. I tell myself this over and over again, not believing it even as I repeat it for the thousandth time. I try opening the bond, but he's either dead or asleep-which is the same thing to the bond.

Until night fall I won't know if he has met the final death.

I start my car and slowly drive back to Claude's house. He is sitting on his couch with a cup of tea in his hand, reading a book that I notice he is on the cover of. I plop beside him on the couch, annoyed at how much better I feel around the faerie.

"Was it them?" he doesn't look up from the book nor does he sound like he actually cares.

"I don't know. Andy thought they were blonde, but too far charred to get an ID." I whisper, "He told me to be careful. He hates me, but he told me to be careful." I mumble into my knees.

"He grew to like you a little more then he was scared of you. You grow on everyone Sookie." Claude says, it sounds like it pains him to say it; I smile as best as I can at my cousin.

"Yeah, well I hate it. I just wish everyone would hate me." I sigh, closing my eyes and leaning back into the couch, "I just wish everything would stop being so damn hard and confusing."

He makes a weird sound that I'm assuming was a snort and shakes his head. I let my head fall back onto the wall behind the couch and exhale.

"So did you need a place to escape so you think or something?" he asks, "about Eric?"

"Something like that." I mutter, "Hey, do you know anything about angels?" quick to change the subject away from the Viking.

He gives me a funny look, "what kind of angels?" I tell him about what happened last night, and about what Eric had called her and he looks puzzled for a moment before jumping up from the couch, grabbing my hand and pulling me with him up the stairs and into his attic.

He digs out a book and hands it too me. I can't read the name of it, its in another language, but when I open it the pages that were written in another language change into English, Claude crouches before me, peering at the page, "there." He points to a picture of a woman with white wings, blonde hair and brown eyes. A caption under is says "Marzanna" written to the left of that in parenthesis says "psychopomp".

"They guide the souls of the dead." He explains, "When a person dies they need to have someone to take them to wherever they go. Depending on their faith they could go anywhere when they die. Marzanna happens to be an angel that was exiled and now stuck here. To watch over those who toy with death and dance on the line of death and life."

"Why did she save my life?" I inquire, not expecting an answer.

Claude shrugs, "it could be for a number of reasons. Don't question it; just be thankful you're not dead. Or worse."

I nod and he tells me to keep the book if I want. I head into the room I'm borrowing while Claude heads to his, I flop back on the bed and sigh letting down my mental blocks all too thankful I can't hear Claude's thoughts.

I manage to fall asleep for a few hours until Claude comes and wake me up we head downstairs to eat dinner, we have pizza and then Claude takes me over to Fangtasia before sundown, I pace outside the bar, ten minutes after we arrive Andy shows up, and Claude says he's going to a restaurant two doors down so he doesn't get eaten, saying something about meeting Claudine in Summerland.

The thought of my cousin and fairy god mother saddens me a bit, I miss her deeply.

"What are you doing here Sookie?" Andy grumbles upon seeing me in the parking lot.

"She is waiting for me." Marzanna answers appearing from out of nowhere walking up behind the cop, "can I help you officer?"

"I'm here to see the owners of this place." He says turning to look at her, "About the vampires found burning this morning."

"Well I hope they'll be here soon. Allow me to show you in." she produces a key ring from the pocket of her jeans, "I'm sure they're fine."

She unlocks the front door and steps into the building; one of the day time workers is already inside. She jumps at the sight of Marzanna, I don't know why though. Her eyes a plain blue and she doesn't have any of her previous eeriness floating around her. She seemed normal.

"Good evening Amanda." She greets the woman behind the bar, walking past it and into the back rooms. A few moments later when the sun leaves the sky she returns alone, a perplexed look on her face.

_Eric please be okay. _I think desperately, "Where are they?"

"Where are who?" Pam's voice asks behind me, before thinking about it I spin around and throw my arms around the vampire. She goes stiff and I blush and pull away.

"Are you Pam?" Andy asks from behind me.

"Yes, I am." She says, her eyebrows coming together in confusion, "why are you here?"

"Where is your boss, Eric Northman?" Andy ignores her question.

"Out of the state." She waves her hand dismissively, "why are you here?" she asks again.

"Have you not heard about the vampires burning outside your establishment?"

"I've only just woken, how could I possibly know? Amanda, can you get me a TruBlood please." The girl nods and grabs a bottle of the synthetic blood, heating it up, when the microwave dings Pam zooms around Andy and over to the bar where she takes the blood from her bar maid, "did you identify the bodies?"

"No, not yet. We thought they may have been you and Mr. Northman. They were blonde. Are any vampires around here missing that you know of?"

"Not that I know of yet, but I assure you if I find out I will let you know."

I can't read Pam's mind, but I know had no intention of sharing anything she knows with Andy. He asks her a few more questions and then finally leaves, Pam sips at her TruBlood, pretending she's drinking it the whole time Andy is in the building. The second he's out the door she hurls it across the room; it smashes into the wall glass and blood raining everywhere.

Amanda rushes to clean it up, and out of habit I rush to aid her._ I never knew a bottle could shatter into so many pieces_. I think as I attempt to scoop up the pieces.

Amanda was shaking as she wiped up the blood while I carefully picked up the bloody pieces of glass and dumped it into the trash.

After I was done I headed into the bathroom to wash my hands, I hadn't even turned the water on when the door burst open and Eric grabbed me up spinning me around, "What happened?" he was chest to chest with me, his face and worried eyes looming right in front of mine.

I bit back a scream, "nothing. Pam threw a bottle at the wall. It's TruBlood on my hands."

"All I can smell is your blood." He says, panic fading from his blue eyes as he turns on the water, I rinse my hands off and find that I had cut my hands several times with the shards of glass.

Eric hands me a paper towel and then steps out of the bathroom, heading down the hall. I follow him, because now I want to know why he came back so suddenly from 'out of the state'.

"That pesky sheriff was back again. I told him you were out of town. Did you find them?" Pam asks Eric when we emerge from the bathroom.

"No, their house was trashed. I'm afraid that they were the ones who burned this morning. I will go inform the King after I walk Sookie to her car."

"What for? I have two legs." I snap, suddenly changing from interested to wanting to get the hell out of here. What was wrong with me? I brushed past the vampires, "I'm glad you're okay, Pam." I say before exiting the building. Claude is leaning up against his car; he stiffens telling me Eric had followed me out.

"Do I need to leave?" Claude inquires, I shake my head, he looks at Eric and then he's gone. Damn it.

"Sookie, why did you come here today?" he asks, "after you tell me to leave and stay out of your life. I'm trying to stay out-yet you keep coming back. Why?"

"I just wanted to make sure you and Pam were alive. I'm not heartless. I still care about you two." I say, keeping my back turned to him, "I want to go home, so please leave so Claude will come back."

"Sookie, don't come back here again. It pains me to see you. Stay away from here. I don't want to see you." I can hear him leave; Claude appears at my side a few moments later, opens the door and drives me back to my house, saying he'd bring my car back later.

I fight tears the whole way back, telling myself it is stupid to want to cry when I kicked him out of my life in the first place, "You really need to get your act together Sookie, one day you're going to lose everything." Claude comments before pulling out of the drive way.

Paul is on the porch when I arrive; I walk straight up to him and wrap my arms around his warm torso, burying my face in his chest. His arms wrap around me and he holds me to his chest.

Tears threaten to spill from my eyes even more so now, his hand tucks under my chin, raising my lips to his in a gentle kiss. He tastes like Oreo cookies, his lips are warm and his arms safe. I break the kiss and rest my head on his chest, taking a deep breath before we walk inside and watch a movie before I crawl into bed beside my husband and fall asleep.

When I wake up Paul tells me he called in sick for the day and that I need to get dressed in something warm because it's cold outside. I pull on a pair of jeans and a nice shirt, meeting Paul in the kitchen at 11.

He drives us out to a park and we have a nice picnic, laying in the sunlight and talking about random things. Until finally the subject of the vampires comes up, "So did you find out about the vampires?"

"Yes, your clients are okay. They don't know who the vampires were." I explain, turning to watch the clouds float past in the sky. Paul is silent for a long time, and just when I'm considering slipping into his head he speaks.

"You know the vampire don't you?" he turns his head to look at me.

"What makes you think that?" I ask, avoiding an answer.

"They way you were acting at dinner, you were stiff, angry, moody and did things you would never do in front of people you'd never met. And they said they understood what happened, they way they said it sounded like they knew you. Did you know him?"

I sigh, choosing my words carefully and trying to tamp down the emotions that have suddenly stirred up inside me, "yes I knew him a few years ago." I answer, standing up, "we were friends and he deceived me, end of story. I don't want to talk about him." I stalked off after that, heading away from him so he couldn't see the angry tears in my eyes.

"Were you in a relationship with him?" he calls, and I'm suddenly wishing I had told him years ago about my past relationships, why hadn't I? I couldn't remember.

"I don't want to talk about him." I repeat, continuing on my path away from my husband and into the woods, he follows me much to my dismay, pulling me into his arms and running a hand over my hair.

"I didn't mean to upset you Sookie. I'm sorry." His arms wrap around me, holding me to his warm chest, I can hear his heart beating against it.

_I hope she stops this temper tantrum stuff soon. I really should have been at there today.. _

I pull myself from his arms trying not to seem like I'm pushing him away and tell him that I don't feel good and maybe he should go to work. On the drive home he asks several times if I'm sure and I keep telling him that I'm positive. He leaves a little after that, telling me that he'll be out late because he has a few vampire clients.

I sink into my couch when he leaves and hug Daisy, burying my face in her golden fur and trying not to cry, she licks my face when tears fall freely from my eyes and sits beside me the whole time with her cute little face and eyes looking at me I don't cry for long.

I decide to go in and help Sam at the bar, because I know the new 'hires' still hadn't come in, busying myself with my crazy smile, blocking out thoughts and serving tables so I wouldn't have to think about anything.

When I arrive home at 9 Paul is still out, so I take Daisy out for a walk, I'm startled when she suddenly pulls me off balance when we're approaching the house and she bounds up the steps to my porch swing.

Who the hell could be at my house? Paul? No his truck is still gone.

I approach slowly, telling myself it can't be anything bad because Daisy ran over to it. When I get to the steps I find its Pam and Bubba.

"Hello Miss Sookie!" Bubba greets cheerily, the biggest smile on his face. He's absently scratching Daisy's ear and I watch him warily, glancing at Pam from the corner of my eye.

"Don't worry, only cats." Pam reassures me with a creepy smile that doesn't make my nerves feel any better, "I know Eric said he didn't want to see you but I honestly couldn't handle the man if you were to die. So I'm leaving Bubba at Bill's house to watch over you."

"I have my own protection Pam." I say my hands on my hips.

"Where was he 3 nights ago?" she counters, "as a matter-of-fact where is he now? I know where he is, I'm sure you don't."

"He's at work!" I yell flabbergasted at the blonde's persistence.

"He works at Fangtasia?" she asks.

"You're full of crap, Pam." I snap, narrowing my eyes at the blonde vampire even though a small part of my brain is shouting that she's telling the truth, "I don't care what Bubba does as long as Paul doesn't find out."

I like Bubba so I didn't mind that he would be on my property, "but only come out if there is danger, okay?" I turn to Bubba who nods and smiles, infatuated with Daisy who is now licking him happily.

I'm shocked at the display of affection from my dog who hates most people-even Paul. I'm so caught up in watching the vampire and my dog I fail to notice Pam running off my porch.

"I'll see you around Miss Sookie." Bubba says with a wave following his boss.

"Bye Bubba." I call after him, opening the door to let Daisy in the house ahead of me. I walk slowly toward my room, making sure to lock the doors and windows out of old habit.

**Thinking of You.**

**Chapter 4- Monster. **

**Summary: Sookie Stackhouse always regretted letting Eric go, but now she's married to Paul Cast and has pushed him out of her mind. But when her ex-lover returns will she still be able to forget him? Or will she fall in love with him all over again? Post DitF. Rated M. E/S I played with the story line of course.**

**SPOV**

After showering I change into a pair of sweat pants and a tank top and sit down on the couch, pulling my knees up to my chest, _Sookie, don't come back here again. It pains me to see you. Stay away from here. I don't want to see you_.

_What had I done all those years ago? Was it really worth it to kick him out of my life forever? He was saving my life… he shouldn't have killed the man. He was saving your life, he was protecting you. He's a vampire you can't ask him not to. _

_I'm arguing with myself now, great. _

_I'm right though. Which is the part that sucks. Eric was trying to save me, he didn't know any better he just saw the man trying to save me and it really looked like he was trying to hurt me, and I was already almost dead. _

_He did what anyone would do, he protected me. _

I toy absently with the ring on my finger, wondering where Paul was distantly in the back of my mind. Maybe he was at Fangtasia, maybe Pam was being honest. _Do you really care Sookie? _I don't honestly care where Paul is, I married him out of comfort. Because he was there and picked up the pieces and I let him fill that empty void in my life with his kindness and sweet act and I just let him, I didn't care who he was.

He was human and that's what I cared about, because I was trying to forget how much I was in love with Eric, how much I wanted to chase him. I wanted him back. He plagued my dreams night after night until I finally stopped dreaming because Paul's dreams filled my head, or Daisy's or I just stayed up until I passed out, no dreaming needed.

Now every time I closed my eyes I could see him, his blue eyes. I could remember the sweet words he said to me, the way he always protected me but never treated me like a breakable doll. He never reminded me that I was weaker then he and he didn't act as if I would shatter into a million pieces if he touched me.

He always told me everything, and always cared about what I wanted. He took care of me and let me take care of him. He treated me like we were equals. Bill had lied to me, distracted me from the fact he wasn't telling me anything, and Paul he never bothered to get to know me. Maybe I was just filling a void for him as well.

And I let some stupid little thing ruin everything, I let it go to far and I lost the best person in my life, and I have no chance of getting him back. Never. Even though we'll always be connected that means nothing.

I used to act as if the bond was everything, the reason for everything and now I realize that all it was is a way we were connect, but it meant nothing if we weren't together. It was just something else that was a part of me. Like he used to be, but it meant nothing without him being in my life.

_I'll never get him back. I'm so stupid. _I felt something warm and wet on my hand, when I looked down Daisy was licking at my wounded palm; I glanced down at it and noticed it was bleeding again.

It was the one I had been holding Daisy's leash in, I stood up and crossed into the kitchen to wash it off and put liquid band-aid on the many cuts. Just as I was replacing the liquid band-aid up Paul walked in, I looked at the clock, 2am.

He was sneaking back in.

I stayed in the dark kitchen- I hadn't bothered to turn the light on- and listened to him head into the bathroom. I made a silent beeline to the bedroom and crawled into bed, pretending to sleep with Daisy asleep on the floor next to me. Paul came in a few minutes later, trying to be quiet, and crawled into the bed next to me.

His last thoughts before he fell asleep drifted into my head, _thank god she was asleep. There is no way I'd be able to say I was at work this late. _A woman with red hair flashed through his head before I pushed up my mental blocks and squeezed my eyes shut.

Paul was up before I woke and gone, he left me a note that he had a meeting and he didn't now when he'd be home not that I really cared at this point, he was lying to me now but who was I to judge? Our relationship was based on my intricately woven lies and tidbits of information I should have shared.

I got dressed for work around 11 and left at 12:30 in Paul's car-he had taken his work truck today. My shift started at 1, so I'd get off at 7. Merlottes really wasn't busy so Molly, the cook and I sat around talking about town gossip and musing about Sam's whereabouts. Molly had arrived at 12 and found he was gone.

It wasn't a full moon so none of us could figure out where our boss had gone to, but around 4 he showed up with a big smile on his face, "where have you been?" Molly asked with a laugh and a wink.

"None of your business. Get to work." He snapped playfully, Molly and I followed him back into his office and found out he had been with his girlfriend and only woken up about an hour ago, then he sent us away because costumers had showed up.

At 6 he decided to let us leave early and he locked the bar up, I got home just after nightfall to find Pam and Bubba lingering in the woods, "What are you doing here Pam?" I asked puzzled and slightly annoyed.

"Did you hear anyone outside your house last night?" she asks, I shake my head no, "what time did you go to bed?"

"About 2 am, why?" I could hear Daisy barking inside and quickly skipped up the porch steps to let her outside, she zoomed by me and over to Bubba.

"We tracked the scent of someone over here, his trail ends on your property line so he must have doubled back. Why were you up until 2?" I don't answer her, turning my attention to my dog and Bubba.

"What time did he leave?" I ask after Bubba and Daisy head deeper into the woods.

"Who?" Pam asks innocently; like she didn't know who I was talking about. I give her a pointed look and she tells me he left around midnight.

"He didn't get home until 2 and left before I woke up, he said he had a meeting tonight. And last night he was thinking about some red haired woman before he fell asleep."

"He was with one last night." She says, "The woman wasn't a vampire though. He left with her and another man. He would have easily been home at 1 if he had gone straight home."

"Is he at Fangtasia tonight Pam?" she nods, her eyes on Bubba and Daisy, "I want to know what he's up to. Let me go get changed." I head inside and put on a pair of jeans and a black long sleeved shirt, finally pulling my hair down.

I put Daisy inside before Pam tells me she'll take me down to Fangtasia and we get into her car that is parked at Bill's house, leaving Bubba behind and head for Fangtasia, what could Paul possibly be up to? And why the hell was Pam helping me? I decided to ask.

"I'm helping you because if anything were to happen to you Eric would be devastated and I don't want to see him like that again. You are a stupid human and I don't think you deserve someone like Eric. He gave up everything for you and there were many repercussions for him, and me, when you kicked him away, yet he still cares about you."

She pauses for a moment and I think she's done but she speaks again, "he looked past all of your flaws and still loved you for who you are, yet you want to change him and make him human and like you. But even when Eric was a human he was ruthless. He had to be to survive, the world has not always been like this Sookie and it was instinct that made him do what he did. Just because you want him to be human doesn't mean he ever will be. But he is the best person you will ever meet. You kicked him away and we almost died."

She's done now, I hope because my eyes are burning. I turn away from Pam and watch as the trees rush by the car at a dangerously fast speed and I don't care and neither does Pam, if Pam looses control and crashes I'm the only one of us who would die anyways. It'd be a bonus for Pam if she did.

"Fuck." I hear Pam hiss, the car spins on the road and jolts hard to a stop. My head smashes into the window and I can feel blood running down my face, Pam has blood running down her head as well, her eyes are locked on the people the headlights are illuminating.

Two vampires, "who are they?"

"I don't know and I'm not ready to find out." I hear the doors lock and Pam shifts gears and slams her foot down on the gas, the car shoots backwards and she spins it, putting the car into drive and zooming down the road.

"Sookie, take off your seat belt. _Now._" I do as she says and close my eyes, not wanting to see what happens. Cold hands clamp down on my arms and wind rushes passed my head, I hear a loud smash in the distance, but the wind is roaring in my head too loudly for me to hear it well enough, the sound is soon replaced by music as she stops outside Fangtasia and sets me down, "He is still inside, and we should get there incase that didn't hurt them. My car has silver in the front of it so hopefully it hit them and sliced them in two."

I stare at Pam with wide eyes, she rolls her own eyes and pulls me into the bar bathroom cleaning up my forehead and her own, "Eric isn't here is he?"

"No, he is with the King." Her voice is a hiss, and she dabs at the wound on my head hard. That must have something to do with one of those repercussions she was talking about.

After she finishes cleaning up she lights the bloody paper towels on fire until there is nothing left of them, turns on the water to put the flames and then she drags me into the bar, toward the throne area. She pulls me into one of the booths in the back and then points out my husband all the way in the back.

He's sitting with some woman and I can only see his back and his hand, his ring-less hand. Pam was being honest he doesn't wear his ring, anger bubbles in my stomach, and I slip into his head before I can think about doing it.

_Those two vampires….not really missed….tomorrow outside our house….maybe the….. will be dead….soon. I hope Sookie….hurt….bad….first sun….Daisy. _

I relay the thoughts to Pam, wish I could understand his thoughts better; I slip into the woman's head next. Her brain is a little more fluid in its thinking process.

_He'll be weaker soon, and won't be able to stop us from torching his wife too. Stupid human loving blood sucker. Fangbangers deserve the same treatment. They're not good for anything. Why is that blonde woman looking at me? _

I pull out of her head, jumping from the booth and fleeing with Pam before Paul sees me. She leads me back to the office and locks the door, taking me down to the basement where nobody would hear us, "what did you hear?"

"They have two vampires, and a vampire's wife I assume. They think he should be weak enough that they can set his wife aflame too. She's human. They were-." I pause for a minute, "they were going to do it outside our house. And he thought something about Daisy. Call Bubba and tell him to take Daisy to Bill's house. There is a key under my mat." My voice is on the verge of pleading and Pam obliges, heading upstairs to call the vampire.

I follow her up and slump down on the couch my head in my hands, "they have left. I want to follow the-." Her words stop and her head snaps up toward the door and I follow her gaze to the blonde Viking now filling the door way. Fuck.

I can feel his anger through the bond, I can't keep it tamped down when he is so close to me, and I don't know who he's more angry at; his childe or me, "I'll see if I can figure out where Paul is keeping them tonight Pam. I'm going to call Sam and get a ride home." I stand, waiting for Eric to move from the door way so I can slip out,

He turns his rage filled eyes on me and I want to run to Pam's side-out of stupidity perhaps because she'd throw me at Eric to save her own skin- to hide from him, "Sit." He growls and I let myself fall back onto the couch.

He steps in the room and shuts the door, locking it and turns to Pam, "what have you found out Pam?"

"He has Daniel and his wife Lia, and another vampire, probably Elizabeth who was staying with him. They plan to bring them to Sookie's house and let them meet the sun-and they're going to torch Lia." She says, and I can detect sadness in her voice when she speaks of Lia who I was assuming to be the human. I never thought Pam liked humans.

"There is nothing we can do if we want to bust the whole operation." Eric sighs, "Is there?" Pam shakes her head.

"Yes, there is. You can stop them, or I can at least. Paul is doing this to cover his own ass-so that he won't be looked at for the blame. But if I'm awake he wouldn't be able to let them meet the sun, let alone torch the woman." I reason, directing my statement at Pam.

"Or he could kill you and say someone else did it." she deadpans.

"I've got to try. Take me home."

"I do not have a car. Two vampires saw to the destruction of it, remember Sookie?" Pam points out, and I sigh turning to Eric who growls in annoyance, "just take her home Eric. I'll bound and gag her if you'd like."

"What?" I shriek, "You will not!" Pam gives me a look that tells me she may have been kidding the first time but she certainly could, "I'll find another ride home." I make a beeline for the door only to be stopped by a big, cold hand on my shoulder.

"I will give you a ride; I need to speak with you anyways. Pam call Bill and ask him to have his house prepared for more visitors." He leads me out the door and over to his red corvette, opening the door for me. I slid into the car and he shuts it pretty damn hard. He must be pissed because I know he normal treats his car like he gave birth to it.

My stomach knots with nerves, "Sookie, if he wants to I'm sure he could grab you up and toss you into the flames. How do you expect to stop him?"

"I don't know but I have to try. What he's doing is not right, it's wrong and disgusting and I _will _stop him, even if it kills me." Eric gives me a skeptical look and I want to tell him to watch the road not me, even though it is pointless to do.

"You are a foolish girl, and he probably will kill you. I can't come to save you this time. I won't be there to stop you from dying; I won't be there to save you life." He turns back to the road now, thankfully.

"I've saved my own life before; I don't need you to save me. I don't want you too, you told me to go away and leave you alone. So I will. You're right it's not fair of me to kick you out and keep coming back. I won't call for your help. I'm sorry you had to drive me home." He pulls up outside my house and I slip out of the car and into my house. He's gone before I even get inside.

Paul pulls up an hour later alone and I'm faking sleep in my bed, one more lie to add to the long list of lies that is becoming my life. He sweeps my hair back out of my face and lets out a sigh, crawling in the bed beside me.

Two hours before sunrise someone knocks on the door, Paul pauses for a moment to see if I wake up and then leaves the room, I silently follow him. He heads out to the front yard and with the help of a man I don't recognize starts putting crosses up in the front yard-crosses with bodies on them.

It takes him until the sun begins to rise to get the posts up, he comes back into the house as his companions leave and walks past where I am crouched in the darkness, as soon as he's in the bed, laying next to the pillows I'd assembled, I sneak out the door.

I quickly pull down the two vampires who are already starting to burn; I can smell gasoline, "Across the cemetery, quick. A vampire is waiting to let you in." I whisper as I'm untying the woman I'm assuming is Lia.

"Why are you helping us human?" the man, Daniel, asks.

"I don't care why she's helping, don't question it Daniel." The woman -Elizabeth- snaps, "Whose house?"

"Bill Compton, just across the cemetery." I get the second woman down and Daniel takes her into his arms as Elizabeth runs away from my front yard as fast as she can.

"You really are too kind of a human. You're bonded and you must be very in love, your bond is strong. Thank you for saving my wife and sister, as well as myself." Daniel is gone just as quick as Elizabeth, leaving me with the three crosses in my yard alone.

_I wish we were in love. _I think as I silently head back up the porch steps, the sun is getting up higher over the horizon and I hear the thought too late when something cracks into the side of my head.

_Gotcha Blondie. _I crumble to the ground, grabbing my head in pain and trying to crawl away from the red haired psycho behind me, "you stupid vampire lover, you ruined everything. I guess it will be _you _we have to burn at the stake, to show we aren't just fucking around."

She grabs my foot and pulls me down the porch, my chin slams against the steps with each tug, hard cracks that make my teeth slam together and blood fill my mouth, "Hey, he said something about her bonded. He was surly talking about that Northman guy; maybe we can use her as bait."

_Fat chance. _I think, spitting out the blood pooling in my mouth. The door opens and Paul comes out takes one look at me and then lights a cigarette.

When did he start smoking?

"We could use her as bait, I've seen them together he cares for her more then he should." I struggle, trying to break the hold she has on my foot as they talk, and decide that I'm now bait. Paul carries me into a truck, laying me on the floor.

_Eric, don't come after me, don't come save me.. _I think, knowing he won't possibly hear me because he is now dead to the word, and knowing he won't come save me if I don't call for him.

I wake up on a metal table, my hands are chained above my head and my feet chained apart, the room is cold, damp and smells like dead rotting vampire. I'm alone and have no idea what time it is, my body is sore mostly my mouth.

I wonder if Daniel, Elizabeth and Lia made it to Bill's house, I'm sure they did because they were moving pretty fast and the three were busying themselves with me, at least they're safe.

At least I could do something right, one thing that I've been able to do right in three years is save innocent people. All the rest of the three years is a web of lies and stupidity, I've turned into the kind of person I told myself I would never be.

Gran is probably looking down on my ashamed of what I've become; it's a wonder Jason, Claude or Sam even bother with me anymore.

Aside from work Sam and I are really not much of friends anymore. The only time I see Jason is if he comes into the bar while I'm at work, and the only time I talk to him is if I need something. Like when I needed him to cover for me with Paul. If we had switched places I sure as hell wouldn't have covered for me, if I was Claude I would have left me to go home, told myself to grow the fuck up.

I used them because Jason is strong into family I knew he would cover for me, Claude is desperate to be around me because I'm part Fae and Sam knows that I will never stop working for him.

I use them all, even Eric. I shouldn't have called for him that night, I just shouldn't have. It's not fair for me to depend on them when I need them if I turn my back on them when they need me.

I've turned into a monster of a person, living in a web of lies. I need to try and fix this, if I live long enough too. I've got to try and make things right, I need to stop being so stupid and I need to stop pretending I'll ever be normal, or that Sam, Jason and Claude owe it to me. The world doesn't work my way and I really need to stop acting like it does.


	5. Chapter V: Squeeze Until They Pop

**Thinking of You.**

**Chapter 5- Squeeze Until They Pop**

**Summary: Sookie Stackhouse always regretted letting Eric go, but now she's married to Paul Cast and has pushed him out of her mind. But when her ex-lover returns will she still be able to forget him? Or will she fall in love with him all over again? Post DitF. Rated M. E/S I played with the story line of course.**

**I hate most of humanity, who the hell sells someone a phone and then calls it in lost or stolen? Jackass.**

**Anyways, enjoy this! :D**

**EPOV**

When I rose the next night Pam informed me that Daniel, Lia and Elizabeth were alive and recovering, she also said that she took down the crosses and neither Paul nor Sookie were home.

A weird feeling told me something was wrong, but I shoved it aside because Sookie was not my problem anymore. I went through the night doing bills and reporting the news of Daniel and Elizabeth to the king- he had no care what so ever about Lia and requested that I not come to his home tonight.

Which I was more then thrilled about. When I had lost his telepath the King was livid, because when he took the throne from De Castro he had trusted me to keep his telepath, he had punished me severely and I had silver poisoning by the time he let Pam and I go, and kicked us out of the state after closing Fangtasia down.

It took months for me to find a new home and start up a new business, under the watchful eye of the King of Florida and the Sheriff of that area both of who were younger then me.

The King was a man of no more then two hundred, and the Sheriff a tiny woman of on hundred and four with a warped sense of humor, both were disturbed and under orders from the King of Louisiana to keep a watchful eye on Pam and myself.

Pam suffered greatly in Florida because the Sheriff's lover attacked her and she killed him, ripping his head clean off of his body. The magister took her fangs, and for almost a year she was reduced to nothing but TruBlood and my own blood, with my still recovering from the silver poisoning I wasn't much help.

Pam had still pissed at me as well, for giving up everything for a 'lousy human' as she put it, and refused to give me her blood to help me get better. She would give me a little bit from time to time, claiming that I needed to see how stupid it was to suffer for Sookie Stackhouse.

Eventually though she caved in, claiming that I learned my lesson. But I knew it was because she hated seeing me suffer, just as I hated seeing her without her fangs. But she just didn't understand that even though I left Sookie like she asked I'd go back if she ever called for me.

We went back when the King called and asked for my help with the current problem in Louisiana, the vampire murderers, which is how I wound up meeting Sookie's husband when he sold me my property once more.

From the day I met him I hated him, and I knew he probably had something to do with the murders. I didn't realize that the reason he seemed so familiar was that he smelled like Sookie, and when I did it was too late.

Dinner was one of the most painful things I've had to endure, watching Sookie kiss her husband in front of me was like a kick in the groin, but then I realized she had never told him about us, I didn't know whether I was mad or not at the fact.

But I didn't want to see her after that. When she called to me through the bond I tried to force myself not to go but Marzanna had other plans, she had to save Sookie so I went with her.

Stupid angel with her stupid savior complex.

I would have gone anyways, I know I would have so I don't know why I'm placing the blame on Marzanna, it wasn't her fault, I was an idiot it was my own fault.

I wondered what made her decide that she had to save them. Was it because a human was involved? She didn't know them, she knew they were vampires and as far as I knew she'd kicked all of the supernatural out of her life.

Why had she found this act so disgusting it needed to be stopped? She had told me I was a monster, just like the rest of the vampires in the world and that we all deserved to rot in hell, so why not let them rot?

She couldn't turn her head to this, but why?

"Maybe it was the blow to the head in my car that knocked some sense into her." Pam had mused when I shared my thoughts with her; I was beginning to wonder if she was right.

Sookie's change of heart was so quick it was inexplicable; I shoved Sookie from my mind, focusing instead on tracking down the humans that had done this. I had to figure out where they were keeping the vampires hostage.

Pam walked in and was about to say something when a wave of pain washed over me, I could practically hear Sookie's scream in my head, and one lone thought followed the pain, _Eric, don't save me you'll die. _

I completely lost all feeling through the bond, all I could feel was a thick wall like the one I felt when I tried to glamour Sookie to see if it would work. It never did, because it was an impenetrable wall.

"They took Sookie." I say, "And they're using her as bait to get me."

"How do you know?" Pam asks.

"She told me not to save her."

"Well, looks like I should prepare a lovely speech about what a wonderful vampire you were for when you _die_." She says in a flat tone, "We should try and see if Elizabeth or Daniel can remember where they were."

We head over to Bill's leaving Conner in charge of the bar while we're gone; I hope they can remember because I want to take these humans heads in my hands and squeeze them until they pop.

Daniel is actually a tiny bit of help, he says that they were deep in the woods near Monroe, in a huge house, they were kept in a basement with a huge table and it was surrounded by a rickety old fence.

Pam and I got as much about the layout from them as we could and began to form a plan of attack to kill the humans and save anyone else they may have taken, Elizabeth said she was joining us and there was no arguing with her, Bill also came with leaving Bubba, Lia, and Daniel to watch over his house and Daisy, Sookie's dog.

Daisy seemed to have an infatuation with vampires, and from what Bill told me, he hated Paul. That made me smile just a little bit, Sookie wouldn't ever get anything supernatural out of her life.

Not when she herself wasn't even human.

It took us until almost sunrise to reach Monroe, so we went to ground for the night near that fairy's house, Claude I believe his name was.

When we woke we scooped out the area, trying to find the place Daniel had mentioned. Elizabeth was getting frustrated trying to find it, she couldn't remember where they had been but remembered what the place looked like. We spent the next three nights trying to find it, until I finally gave up and Pam and Elizabeth went off alone to look for it, with Bill tagging along.

I sat down in a tree and tried to use the bond to find Sookie, who was no doubt wherever Paul was, but she had it tamped down so tight I couldn't hope to break through, every so often a bit of pain and anger would seep through it but nothing more.

3 years of not sharing blood made the bond weaker, and easier for Sookie to close me out of it, she didn't want me coming after her. She was willing to die rather then let me find her, and she wasn't going to get her way. She wouldn't get out of everything that easy.

Daniel managed to track me down on the fourth night, "are you any closer to finding her?" Sam inquired, "I managed to follow Paul to the road up ahead and then lost him. He must have switched cars or something. What is going on?"

I explained the situation to the three of them and told them to wait for Pam and Elizabeth to return, taking to the sky in the direction of the King's home, I touch down outside and the guards let me through without question. Nathaniel was not too pleased to see me, and kicked his play thing from the room.

"Eric, why are you here?" his green eyes narrow at me and he stands up and towers over me, he's about 6'6 with the same build as me, "I told you not to come."

"I'm sorry your highness, but I came to deliver some news about the vampire killers."

Nathaniel sat back down in his chair, crossing his long legs and nodding at me to continue. I tell him about Daniel and Elizabeth informing us about the house and about Sookie being captured and tortured.

"Have you found the house yet?"

"Pam is looking for it now, she says she is close. I will need a place to bring her so she can rest without being bothered. Your home is closer."

"You may bring her here, as well as anyone else helping in your search. I will join you." He calls for Marzanna and we head to where Pam is. She has finally located the house after 3 nights of searching.

Bill, Elizabeth, Pam, Marzanna, Nathaniel, Daniel and I plan our attack; with so many people inside we all take different sides, once Nathaniel glamour's them to let us in we can kill them and find Sookie.

We sneak onto the property, I find an open window and stand pushing my hand against the barrier until it's gone and I can enter the house, Marzanna and Daniel behind me. I can hear Pam upstairs as well as Bill, Nathaniel is at the front door and blood is already filling the air.

I'm spotted almost immediately by 3 silver chain wielding humans, they whip the chains at me, hoping to capture me no doubt, but I grab one, yank the human holding it forward and snap his neck, throwing his corpse at the other and snatching the third up, killing him.

I head through the house, killing every human that gets in my way. Marzanna makes an annoyed noise and I hear a body hit the wall, "stupid man." She mutters to herself. It takes about 5 minutes and ten men for me to find the basement.

I silently pull open the door to the basement, I can smell Sookie's blood, and I can smell someone unfamiliar. I pull the door shut behind me and slowly walk down the stairs Sookie's cries of pain ringing in my ears.

When I make it down stairs Sookie is tied to a metal table bleeding everywhere, bloody knifes and other implements lay on another tables beside her, a woman with red hair stands above her saying something, but I can't hear her.

I simply walk up behind her and throw her at a wall, her neck snaps along with many other bones and she slumps to the ground. I snap the chains holding her and help her sit up, "You need my blood."

"I'll be fine." She whispers, "I told you not to come."

"Yeah, well I'm not one to take orders. You will have my blood. You're inches from death." I demand, slicing my wrist and holding it out to her, she looks at it for a moment before she falls back to the metal table before she can take it and now I give her no choice.

I press my wrist to her mouth and coax it down my blood flows freely and rapidly down her throat. I hear steps too late and silver surrounds my neck and pulls me off of my feet, burning my throat. I can smell Paul now and my fangs emerge.

"Oh save it." He snaps, "You shouldn't have bothered coming, Sookie is dead now and you've been captured just like your companions." Another human came down and helped him move me onto a table where I was chained down with silver. The table Sookie's body laid on was shoved away, I could feel the sun coming up and struggled to stay awake for longer.

I made it two hours with the sun up and then I was pulled into death sleep, my king, child, and underlings beside me, Marzanna was nowhere to be seen and Sookie's lifeless body lay on the table behind me, no heart beats could be heard in the basement after Paul left.


	6. Chaper VI: The Hurt of Betrayal

**Thinking of You.**

**Chapter 6- The Hurt of Betrayal**

**Summary: Sookie Stackhouse always regretted letting Eric go, but now she's married to Paul Cast and has pushed him out of her mind. But when her ex-lover returns will she still be able to forget him? Or will she fall in love with him all over again? Post DitF. Rated M. E/S I played with the story line of course.**

**My computer and I really don't like each other. It keeps crashing, so sorry for the long wait. Enjoy! **

**SPOV**

**_Edit/Authors Note:_**

**_When I was doing this story I guess I skipped putting up the actual chapter 3, so if you could go back to read it, I added chapter 3 and 4 together. Please go back and read it!_**

Paul spent almost an hour talking to me while he stuck me with several instruments, a knife being his preferred weapon for the past hour and a half. It was sharp and smooth making it slice my stomach like butter, not that I had much in the way of a stomach left, he'd cut it to pieces, and injected me with something that made every tiny little thing hurt a hundred times more then it should, he didn't just cut at my stomach, he cut me everywhere but had this infatuation with it.

But now he set the knife down with a loud clatter on the table and picked up a vial, "this should heal your stomach a bit, it seems I've run out of things to play with." The vial contained a red liquid I was sure was vampire blood. He let a few drops fall down my throat and left me in the cold dark room.

_I hope he dies. _

When I close my eyes briefly all I can remember is being chained to a wall with nothing but the scraps of my clothes left to cover me, with that insane shifter jabbing me with things, using me as a human punching bag and shooting me up with drugs. I remember the man who came down and gave me meals, always telling me he'd get me out of here as soon as he could. And then all I can remember is Eric's hand jutting from his chest with his heart in his fist and the terror that swept through me.

Eric took me home and gave me his blood that night and nursed me back to somewhat health. I kicked him out, I told him to leave, and I called him a monster and told him he should rot in hell all because he killed someone innocent on his war path to save me.

He hadn't known any better because when he came down the man had been pulling knife from my stomach, and trying to get me down, I had been crying out in pain and it looked as if he had been the cause of it, Eric acted on instinct and I went too far.

He had only been trying to protect me, I expected Eric to be more human then was possible of a vampire, especially one that grew up centuries before I did, one that had killed as a human before he was turned. I spiraled out of control and shunned everyone that cared about me, all because of some innocent man who died.

Sure I was upset that he died but he had also helped torture someone else, I could see it in his mind and that was why he was helping me escape, to try and make up for it. He wasn't innocent and I acted as if Eric had killed my child and every Supe in the world had helped him.

I was such an idiot.

"Hello baby." Paul said in a sweet voice, leaning near my face and smiling. His lips brushed mine and I bit him hard. He jumped back and I could see blood trickling down his chin, "Feisty girl, how come you never told me you were bonded to a vampire?"

"You never asked." I replied, trying to sound calm instead of angry.

"So what happened? Did you catch him drinking from another woman's neck?" he mocks, busting into laughter.

"No, he shoved his hand through a mans chest and ripped his heart out, squeezing it until it burst." The laughter went dead, Paul's hand holding the knife shook a bit and I smiled to myself.

"Well I can't wait until he comes to save you. I saw what he did with those two dumb asses I hired to kill you. He'll come to rescue you, as soon as you send the distress call to him." Paul laughs, like he thinks he'll get the one over on Eric if he comes to save me.

"No he wont, he doesn't care about me anymore. He'll let me die." Paul just laughed, not buying into it even though I thought it was probably true.

"I can't believe anything you say. You're just a dirty little liar." He runs the sharp knife over my stomach, cutting a painful thin line over my stomach from the top of my left rib cage to my right hip bone and then does the same from the right to the left, making an X on my stomach before he set the tip of the knife on the center, pushed it in a little and twisted the blade.

I screamed and tried to move away from the knife, he took it away and slammed my head on the table until I stopped moving, but I had felt the table wiggle and almost fall over with my movement, the table wouldn't stay standing with too much movement. Good to know.

Paul grabbed one of my arms, the broken left one, and un-chained it, shoving me off of the table so I smacked onto the floor and hurt my arm even more when I tried to catch myself with it. The stone floor was cold as ice and covered in dried blood, not all of it was my own. He rechained my broken arm and dragged me across the room, chaining me to a wall.

"I think that was enough pain to call for him." He says, smiling and pulling the door shut. I had cut the bond off hours ago, after Paul had broken my arm, so Eric had no clue how much pain I was in, and wouldn't come looking for me. I hoped.

Paul continued his torture periodically through out the longest time of my life. I had no clue how long I'd been down here just that it was the longest time of my life, my body ached and every time he ran out of room to cut he'd give me enough blood to heal the wounds but not the pain from the cuts or my arm's broken bones.

But then he stopped torturing me, then _she _came down and had her way with me, she wasn't as kind as Paul, when she ran out of skin she began to mess with my insides. She was a surgeon, who had been fired, and she enjoyed cutting things open and fixing them up.

I had been laying on the table with my stomach stitched up in a weird way, the woman cutting it back open, when the door opened and suddenly the woman was gone and Eric stood in front of me, "you need my blood."

"I'll be fine. I told you not to come." He doesn't listen to me, and sliced his wrist open, holding it in front of me, but I faint, falling back onto the table with darkness enveloping me, and the pain going away.

My eyes snapped open, the florescent light hurting my eyes for a few moments until they adjusted. I was in a cage alone; I could hear someone growling in pain and laughter. The red haired woman's dead body lay in the corner of my cage, I noted as I stepped up to the unlocked door.

They must have thought I was dead.

I peered down the hall, feeling for brains. Nobody seemed down this hallway but they were located wherever the growling was coming from. I pushed the cage door open, it didn't creak thankfully, and I stepped into the hall silently and tip-toed down the halls.

The place reminded me of a jail; it had at least 10 cells on each side and most seemed to be empty, until I got to the end of the hall and found Pam and the vampire I recognized as Elizabeth sitting in the back of a cage looking near death, final death.

"Pam." I called softly, her head snapped up her eyes wide in surprise. Elizabeth weakly turned her head in my direction, "what happened?"

"I thought you were dead." She mumbles eyeing me suspiciously, "They're planning a massive burn outside your home, you need to get out of here and get help. They'll take us to your home tonight, and you need to stop them. We're in Monroe, your cousins house is not to far from here."

"How do I get out?" I whisper, Pam tells me how to escape and before I leave I slice my wrist and give Elizabeth and her some blood, so they're not so weak when they're about to be burned. Pam gives me her clothes, which are surprisingly clean so I can get out without being noticed.

I carefully sneak back down to where my cell is and find the stairs that lead up to the doors; I edge up the steps, listening for brains outside. It's silent so I push the wooden doors out of my way, slip out and close them.

As casually as I can I walk up to the gates where the guards wave me out, giving me keys to one of the trucks they use to capture vampires. Perfect. The sun is just rising when I make it to the road not to far from Claude's. I ditch the truck and walk the rest of the way to my cousin's home where he isn't too pleased to see me but he gives me the keys to my car before kindly slamming the door shut in my face.

I get in the car and start it before heading to Hot Shot to see Jason, he's slightly less unhappy to see me. I spend a few hours telling him what happened and apologizing to him over and over, begging for his help. He finally caves in and agrees to help me, and gets a friend of his to help out as well-after reminding me that he was helping me because it was the right thing to do, not because he was forgiving me.

"Okay, I'll see you tonight I have two more stops to make." I get back in my car and head to Merlottes to see Sam, I told him about what was going to happen and he agreed to help as well, we talked for a little bit longer and I headed to Bill's house.

Lia opened the door for me, she looked a lot better then she had when I rescued her but she had worry in her green eyes and evident in her frizzy messy blonde hair, she informed me that Bill, Elizabeth and Daniel had all gone with Eric to find me and that just she and Bubba were still at the house, as well as Daisy.

I told her about what I knew and then tried to calm her down and reassure her that everything would be okay, "Nothing is going to be okay! I haven't been able to feel him in the bond! So he's either dead or in so much pain he's blocking me!" she curls up on Bill's couch, her head in my lap, and cries.

I sit beside her silently for the next few hours, listening to her stories about Daniel, telling them seems to calm her down a bit. She tells me a lot about her relationship with Daniel and then asks about Eric and I and how we ended and why I was with Paul and pretty much told me what everyone else was saying; that I was an idiot.

Bubba rose around 9, explaining that he had stayed up late last night spying on Paul, I told him what was going on and he said we was going to watch for Jason, his friend Erin, and Sam.

They showed up around 3am, itching for a fight already shifted, thank goodness for full moons. I told Bubba to stay behind with Lia and went into the woods, silently heading toward my house where they had begun unloading the cross bound vampires, 8 humans.

With the three panthers already prowling around to surround the humans I was tense and almost screamed when Marzanna appeared at my side, "Sookie, you're going to die." She says bluntly.

"Will they live?"

"Who?"

"The humans."

"No, only the vampires and Weres will survive this." She states simply, her eyes doing that creepy kaleidoscope thing again, "you will not be alive." She takes my hand in hers and they glow bright white, a weird feeling surges through my body and when the light fades I'm alone again.

I turn back to my yard where they're moving a third cross, Eric is on that one, and suddenly a cry sounds and a panther launches through the air, catching a man helping carry Eric around the neck, the scent of blood fills the air and I don't pause to figure out why I can smell it or why my stomach knots in a weird way.

I rush out of the woods straight toward Pam, the knife Bubba had given me clutched in my hand. I sliced the ropes binding her to the cross and then moved to help an unknown vampire down off of his cross while Pam rushed to get Elizabeth down and turned to the humans.

I let Bill down as the unknown vampire helped Daniel down, blood was everywhere and seemed to be the only thing I could smell or see. Screams filled the morning air and burning flesh joined it.

I looked around trying to see what needed to be done; Eric was still bound in silver against the cross. I ran to his side and began peeling the chains from his body, he watched me as I pulled the chains off, and as soon as the last chain was gone he sat up and grabbed me, laying over me and hissing, a silver stake through his shoulder, over my heart.

I tucked the knife behind me as Paul hauled the paralyzed vampire off of me, "I thought you were dead." He hissed angrily.

"I don't die that easy." I whisper, he grabs a fist full of my hair and hauls me to my feet, not noticing the knife, and drags me into the house, dropping me to the ground just inside the door. The knife stabs my thigh when I fall on it; I bite back a cry of pain.

"I had fun torturing you're vampire. I can't wait until he burns in the sun. He wont be going anywhere with his silver poisoning." Paul leans over me, taunting me as he tells me about everything he's done to Eric in the past days and tells me that he's going to make sure he meets the final death.

I wait until he turns his back to head out the front door to watch Eric's demise to jump to my feet. I run up behind him and shove the knife into his back with all the strength I can manage, he starts to fall backward and I jump out of the way as he slams into the ground, the knife goes straight through his heart and out his chest, horror flashes through me for a moment before my attention turns to Eric.

I kick Paul out of the way and head downstairs, to Eric who is the only one left still outside, hidden in the shade of some bushes. I kneel beside him and brush the blonde hair off of his face. He's out, dead to the world and still burning, how can I possibly pull him into the house?

I put my arms under his and pull him as fast as I can into the house past Paul's dead body and into my bedroom. I yank the stake from his shoulder and chuck it across the room, drawing the thick shades closed before sitting beside the unconscious vampire who is bleeding on my bed.

Blood rolls down my arm and I notice the cut on my wrist, I press the bleeding area to Eric's mouth and seconds after his eyes snap open and he pushes my arm away, "you have to drink some of my blood Eric, you're flaking away." I whisper, holding my arm out to him again, pleading him with my eyes to accept it.

I can feel need tugging at him; our bond is open wide and had been since I'd woken. Since he'd saved my life again, he grabs my wrist gently and pulls me down, his fangs piercing the skin of my wrist as gently as he can. He takes a few long pulls of my blood and pushes me back away, sitting up and looking around the room.

"What happened?" he asked. I told him about the scene outside-7 dead humans and nobody else. He nods, "And Paul?"

"I-He's…I killed him." I answer casting my eyes downward, "He was going to kill you and I wasn't going to let him." I felt like a big hypocrite and couldn't bring myself to look Eric in the eye, not now and not after what I did to him.

"How?" he asks, and I can tell he's only asking out of sheer curiosity and not to make my guilt any worse, or at least that's what I hope it is.

"I shoved a knife through his back, and his heart." I whisper.

Before I could blink Eric's mouth was on mine, I could taste my blood on his lips. His hands tore my bloody clothes from my body before he threw me down on the bed, his mouth devouring my own.

His fangs grazed my neck, sending chills down my spine; I arched my back slightly as he sunk his fangs into my neck rougher then I ever remember him doing. He takes long pulls from my neck until he's satisfied and hovers above me blue eyes sparkling, fangs out, and mouth dripping with my blood.

Slowly he runs his fangs across his lip, his blood mingling with mine and leans down, kissing me. The second his blood runs down my throats our bond opens and a strong rush of emotions hit me like a hailstorm, want, need, longing, sadness, hurt, love, and anger.

He makes the most animalist sound I've heard and tangles his hands in my hair, sliding into me, he doesn't do this slowly, or tenderly, but more in a rush of something I can't tell.

I can feel one strong emotion flowing through him, one emotion that makes me want to break into a million pieces, the hurt of betrayal. I don't know whose emotions I'm feeling anymore, and I soon fail to care as Eric's everything consumes me and all I can feel is _him._

My eyes fall closed as the rush of everything that is Eric fills me, I'm in his mind and I don't want to be. I can feel his emotions, hear his thoughts, I can see things that bother him in the night.

But mostly all I can see is me.

I can feel how hurt he was by my actions, how scared he was when I was taken, how infuriated he was when he found me hanging on the edge of death and how his only thought was getting to me.

Eric's fangs dragging along my collar bone forced my eyes open, I tangled my hands in his blonde hair and forced him to look at me, bloody tear tracks ran down his face, I leaned up and licked them away, and as I did I felt him freeze, he watched me with a wary expression for a moment and then closed his eyes, continuing his frantic motions until he cried out.

As soon as he did his movements were slower, softer and he cradled me in his arms burying his face in my neck and breathing me in, gently biting into my neck, I felt a wave of pleasure and found my nails digging into his back and his name spilled from my lips like a prayer, he turned and bit into his wrist, offering it to me.

I took it and drank his blood, savoring the rush between us. All too soon Eric was dead to the world beside him and I fell asleep with him, one of us on each side of the bed, backs to each other.


	7. Chapter VII: Leaving It Behind

**Thinking of You.**

**Chapter 7- Leaving it behind.**

**Summary: Sookie Stackhouse always regretted letting Eric go, but now she's married to Paul Cast and has pushed him out of her mind. But when her ex-lover returns will she still be able to forget him? Or will she fall in love with him all over again? Post DitF. Rated M. E/S I played with the story line of course.**

**SPOV**

My whole body should have been aching when I woke up, I knew that, but it felt like I had never been trapped and tortured, like I had never been smacked over the head or on the edge of death.

I rolled over, expecting to be in an empty bed, and found Eric's pale back illuminated by the lamp I had left on last night. Just on the back of his neck and his shoulder was an ugly scar, I ran my hand over it gently, and he had not had that when I last saw him, how had he gotten it though?

I didn't think vampires could scar, I thought they healed too fast.

I slid out of the bed, a glance at my clock told me I'd slept through the day, it was 7:30 pm, and I hope nobody had come by this place. My stomach knotted at the thought of someone seeing all of this. How could I explain away corpses? The crosses? The blood? My dead husband in the hallway?

I shuffled into my kitchen and made myself breakfast; just as I was pulling the eggs from my fridge I caught a glimpse of Paul's dead body. A long time ago my stomach would have dropped and I would have felt like puking. Now all it did was make me think about the vampire in my bed upstairs.

I pulled my breakfast materials out and started to prepare the food, my stomach singing louder at the thought of any food. I hadn't eaten in days and I was ready to eat my own hand. I sat down, looked at the food, and left it on the table, my stomach suddenly rolling in on itself.

I went up to shower, the warm water on my back relieved me of the disgusting remnants of blood, both mine and not mine, sweat, tears, dirt and whatever else had coated me the last few days.

I lean against the wall, letting the hot water cascade down my back with my eyes closed. I let out a sigh, the cool tiles turn warm under my head and I wash my hair, body and take care of other human needs before exiting the bathroom in my towel and cross into my dark room.

Thinking nothing about being naked in front of the Viking on my bed I drop the towel and pull on a pair of lacy boy short panties and a matching black bra before looking for clothes to move bodies in, because I knew that was my agenda for the night.

When I heard movement I looked up to find Eric shimmying into a pair of jeans, which I noticed are not ripped a bloodied, I had no clue where they came from. He kept his back to me as he pulled on his ripped up shirt and then when he finally looked at me his eyes were haunted.

"Pam is coming to help clean up along with the others, since I know they have not. I need a shovel, please get it for me." He says, straightening before her walks out the door past me, I sigh and pull on some clothes that are already covered in paint and go get Eric the shovel he wanted.

He was standing at the door looking at Paul's corpse when I walked up beside him. My stomach twisted and I looked away, turning instead to the vampires outside my yard, I notice Pam is indeed among them, in a pair of sweat pants and ratty shirt, looking none to pleased with having to clean up.

"Will someone report him missing?" Eric asks, I shrug, "What will you do?"

"Tell Andy he ran away with another woman." I sigh and hand him the shovel, "do you need help moving him?"

"No, you should go get cleaning supplies, Marzanna will be here shortly to help out with your story." I leave him to move the body and head into the kitchen to find something to scrub up the area with, when I return Eric is gone and Pam is stationed outside, talking on her phone on the porch.

I began scrubbing up the floor, memories of cleaning the kitchen after Gran was murdered flashed in my head, tears spill down my face almost instantly. I was half way done cleaning when Marzanna stepped up onto the porch and looked around the area, finally her eyes landed on me they were changing from blue to green in a swirl of colors until they were solid green.

"Good evening Sookie." She greets with a small smile, "What is troubling you?"

"Nothing." I whisper, wiping at my tears with my free hand, I drop the cleaning supplies into the bloody water bucket and pick it up, carrying it into the kitchen and dumping the water out.

Marzanna follows me, leaning against the counter, she spots the food on the table and gives me a weird look, "you haven't eaten in days, why have you not eaten this?" I give a half hearted shrug.

"Come here." I walk over to her and she takes my hand, after a few minutes she makes a weird humming noise and then whispers interesting.

"What? That I'm still alive even though you told me I'd die?" I snap suddenly, jerking my hand from her grasp. She laughs at me, her eyes swirling from green to black.

"You, my dear, are not alive. As I said last night." She sets her hand on the counter. Eric steps into the house beside her, an angry look on his face, "was she alive last night?"

"Yes." He replies looking at her like she had a second head, then her turns to me, "Have you finished cleaning?"

"I'm alive now, why wouldn't I have been alive then!" I yell, throwing my hands up in frustration, "My heart is still beating! I'm _alive._"

"Then eat that." Marzanna reasons, I glance at the food lying on the plate on the table, the cold food. I take a step toward it, scoop up a fork full of eggs, put it my mouth, swallow and then rush to the bathroom seconds later to puke it up.

Once I'm sure my stomach is better I get to my feet and make my way slowly out to the kitchen, Marzanna has a smug look on her face, "I'm not dead." I say again, my voice hallow even to my own ears.

"She's got a heartbeat Marzanna." Eric says, his face contorting in confusion and what I think is a slight frustration.

"What did you do to me yesterday?" I ask, suddenly remembering the glowing hand thing.

"I simply gave you some minor protection so you would be a bit stronger and heal faster. You were given vampire blood a lot, which is probably why you are slowly changing. By tomorrow you will be dead." Her voice is flat, and creepy.

"Marzanna, leave." Eric says his voice just as flat and eerie. She shrugs and heads for the door.

"I will take care of the cop, I am truly sorry." She leaves and my knees buckle so I fall back onto the table for support, my eyes staring blankly out the window at my empty yard.

I almost jump when the cold hand touches my chin and lifts it up, "Sookie, are you okay?" I can't talk, I feel so numb, and I don't know what to say or do. I want to cry, or scream or both.

He wraps his arms around my shoulders and pulls me into his chest, suddenly I'm sobbing and he's holding me tighter, I can't stop the tears from falling and I ball my hands into fists tangled in his cotton shirt.

"It's going to be okay Sookie." He whispers, resting his head on top of mine and stroking my hair gently. He's the only thing holding me up now, and I hardly register that he picks me up and carries me into my room until he sets me down on my bed, lays beside me and pulls me into his arms again.

It's not until a half an hour later I stop crying and I can talk, "why are you being so nice to me?"

Eric doesn't answer right away; instead he sits there, still as a corpse dead silent. I start to speak when he answers, "Because even the worst person in the world doesn't deserve to die alone."

I don't say anything more, tears brim in my eyes because I know that I don't deserve such kindness from the man I called a monster. I don't deserve anything from him, and I will never deserve anything from him.

I can never take back what I did or make it right, never. But I would spend the rest of my life, and unlife, trying to make it better. Because Eric wasn't a soulless beast, he was a man filled with a vast array of emotions and I was an idiot, a dimwitted idiot.

I don't know when, but I fell asleep in his arms, or technically I died in his arms, and he held me until I woke. He was lying beside me, his cool strong arms around my body and his blue eyes watching me closely.

"Am I a vampire?" I whisper, it hurts my throat and my lips which feel dry. I lick them and taste blood. I run my tongue over my teeth and slice it open; my question is answered for me.

"Yes." He murmurs, his eyes flickering from here to there watching my expression. _I wonder if she'll hear me…_

I gasp my hand flying to my mouth and I pull away from him eyes wide, "Are you in pain?"

"No…" I whisper, scared of what may happen if I tell him I can hear his thoughts, not scared of him but more of what that would mean.

"What is it?" he seems genuinely concerned and my heartaches.

"I can hear your thoughts." I whisper so softly I barely hear myself; he completely freezes up his eyes watching me like I would become his next meal.

"Do not, and I mean do not tell _anyone _about this. The only person who needs to know besides me is Pam. Understood?" I nod, barely noticing the movement, "we need to get you out of here, you can't stay in Bon Temps right now; you're too young."

I should have wanted to protest, but my mind went to the pain in my stomach and the scent entering my nose. All I could smell was something so delicious is made my mouth water. I glared toward the partly uncovered window at the shifter lurking on my lawn, I didn't register why I knew he wasn't human. All I knew was he smelled _delectable_.

I launched myself at the window, crashing through it and out onto my lawn, the man jumped and scrambled away as quick as he could, which in all honesty wouldn't have been fast enough if Eric hadn't followed me and hauled me to my feet as he dragged me back into my house and shoved a TruBlood in my hand.

I stared at the disgusting drink in my hand, lifted it to my lips and only a small drop touched my lips before I spit it out and dropped the bottle, Eric growled in frustration but he didn't drink it either how could he expect me to?

"Would you just fucking drink this one?" he growls when Pam enters the room with another bottle in her hand. I take it, close my eyes and pretend I'm not gulping down the disgusting TruBlood.

I tell myself its ice tea, and its day time, and I'm human, which is enough thought to make me drink the next three Pam brings. Once my hunger is quenched I listen to Eric's instructions.

I go upstairs with Pam and pack up everything I want, as much as I want.

I take a long time packing all of my clothing into three bags, all of my valuable possessions, which in my mind are things that remind me of Gran. I put all of my jewelry in with those, zip up the bag and look around trying to remember anything else I may want.

I can't think of anything else, so Pam carts me downstairs and into the back of her car while Eric gets my bags, after that we head over to Pam's house where she spends a fraction of the time I had packing up her things and finally we head to Eric's where all he needs to do it put his bags in the car and we're gone.

I watch out the back window as Pam speeds down the road and away from my home, the place I'd grown up in, and I hardly notice the blur of the trees the way I'd used to. Everything is moving fast but I can see everything as if I was walking down the road.

As soon as we cross from Louisiana into Arkansas I realize that my life has ended and my unlife has begun. My heart aches and tears rolling down my face, at first they're clear but the quickly turn to blood.

_**This story is finished, but I'm working on a sequel, because I feel that this story has no relevance to what I'm planning. Hope you enjoyed~ **_


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